Small Object of desire #21 – ‘O’

Not your O face. Not the Story of O. Not O for orange.                                              

 It’s however an essential suffix that you would be well advised to add to your surname if you want a fighting chance of becoming a big kahuna Hollywood star. Let’s consider the evidence:

Robert De Niro – formerly Robert of Nir

Leonardo DiCaprio – formerly Leonardo of Capri. This one covers all bases with both the surname AND the forename hefting the weight of that very desirable vowel.

Danny De Vito – aka Danny of Fast. Also allows you to beat the odds of becoming a big star despite your munchkin stature. 

Benecio Del Torro – Bullish, this one. Again, note the deployment of those cheeky double O’s. 

Al Pacino – This O allows you to play yourself at all times no matter what role you are playing. We will love you for it anyway. 

David Caruso – Take off and put on your sunglasses at will. Always keep them handy. Mangle the iambic pentametre of natural English speech beyond precedence. You are anointed by the magic ring of O.  

Ralph Macchio – Karate Kid. Enough said. 

Quentin Tarantino – formerly the love child of a toff and a tiny spider. 

Vincent Gallo

Marlon Brando

Danny Aiello

James Franco

Jean Reno

John Leguizamo

John Turturo

Mark Ruffalo

Jay Leno

See what I mean? I could go on and on and on. 

It is not, however advisable and definitely not desirable to change your surname by deed poll to any old thing ending in O in the hope that you’ll get noticed – Oreo, Speedo, Photo, Piano, Jello (unless you’re a Dead Kennedy), Bambino, Albino, Concerto, Armadillo – are just plain daft. And ridiculous. Not to mention desperate. 

You have been warned. Choose your O with care! 


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