Small Object of Desire #69 – 3D Tattoos

For many years I wanted a tattoo but could never decide what I was willing to live with on my skin for the rest of my life. Now I’m glad I don’t have one because so many people think they are doing different by getting a tattoo when in fact there is such a proliferation of inked bodies that these days, it seems far more rebellious NOT to have a tattoo. Human beings have decorated and adorned their bodies one way or the other since time immemorial so tattoos aren’t going away any time soon. They’ve come a long way since anchors and swallows though. Even if like me, you’re never going to get a tattoo, you have to agree that these 3D ones are eye-popping to say the least.

You’ve got to wonder about the logic of some of them though. What would impel you to tattoo two eyes below your own? Or become a sort of walking billboard for a brand of famous shoes? And as for the breasts as baby. All I can say is why?

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Small Object of Desire #67 – Extra Large Slack Snack Sack

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Words are threatening to fail me.

No, really. This kind of thing¬†used to be REAL. Imagine calling your strides slacks. Is it redundant to ask what’s in the “patented action zone”? And what exactly is Dacron? Ah, a synthetic polyester fibre that is strong and resistant. It just keeps getting better!

I could say a lot more about hair trigger action zones, Dacron armour and how I hope the blonde¬†knew what she was letting herself in for. All I’ll say is that poodle sure is looking impressed. Or something.